Kenyan actress Jackie Matubia has been in the headlines this week for candid statements made on a recent interview.
The Salem actress spoke to media personality Dr Ofweneke on his YouTube show, Lessons at 30, where she dived deep into her experiences and lessons learnt in life and love. The actress also talked about her upbringing, revealing personal insights that have made her who she is.
“[I] got into Tahidi High when I was barely 18, and I had just cleared High School,” she said of the role that made her a household name over 15 years ago.
“It was a chance to get in front of the camera and it was such a big privilege to get a script and a character.”
Her career developed as she grew her acting skills, and at the same time, Jackie worked as an assistant producer on an entertainment show on Citizen TV.
She would flex her hosting muscles on various popular entertainment shows through the years, building a respected and beloved brand.
Upbringing
The actress’ rehashing of her childhood years was intense- she explored the possibility that she was navigating traumatic experiences and even touched on a strained relationship with her mother.
“Being a ‘bad girl’, I now realise that was trauma. Being raised partially by my mum, then my dad, so I have rejection. Even now I am still dealing with rejection.”
Jackie revealed that she had lived with her father in London during her early years, and the return to Kenya to be in her mother’s care later on was a difficult adjustment.
“I was in a cocoon and I was just bad. I felt like if I opened up to someone, they would eventually leave. So I protected myself.”
“My dad is ‘monied’. So he would pay for me to go to an expensive school, where my schoolmates were mostly from rich families. They were living in Lavington and Westlands and the likes na wewe unaishi Ongwaro 56 (and there I was going back home to Kawangware).”
Growing up, she felt the difference between her life and that of her wealthier age-mates, who had more privilege in ways that brought in self- doubt, comparison and sadness for a young Jackie.
“I hated my mum,” Jackie said, before explaining that she was traumatized by the questions she could not get answers to growing up.
“I was like, why even bring me into this world if you know that I am going to come and suffer. By Class 6 I had my own class, because I was just weird. Nilikua nachapa watu (I would beat people up),” the actress said.
Her parents’ strained relationship with each other was a contributing factor to her being a troubled child- they don’t see eye to eye to date.
“Rejection started when my mum gave birth to me. Because she went to Pumwani and did that but when she saw me, I was a dark child with lots of hair…and one of my aunties came to see her and said ‘you have a very ugly child.’”
She sadly added: “And that’s how mama yangu alihepa (my mum ran away). For 3 months, I was in Pumwani, just a child with no name.”
The actress however thanked her mum for stepping up eventually, and even making better decisions about her choice of school as she advanced to her Secondary School studies.
She would fit in better in the years that followed and find connections that helped her feel seen and understood.
“In High School is where I met so many of my friends who had different experiences, different stories and it was fun…Drama [club] was my safe space.”
Love
Her priorities as a young adult revolved around working hard and becoming financially stable.
After exploring the idea of love in a relationship in her college days, Jackie became more aware of what kind of a man she wanted.
She met someone and explained that they were married. However, trouble arose in their union because the actress wanted to continue working instead of being a stay-at-home wife.
“We were both young- we got married at 23, and I got my daughter at 25.”
The marriage did not work, and after 7 years together, they decided to call it quits.
In her next serious relationship, Jackie said that she did not want to get married, adding that things started to go south after her then partner proposed to her.
“When I got [my second child], my eyes opened and I kept asking myself, ‘is this the kind of life you want to live?’”
“I sat down and I told God, ‘I want to work on myself’. I started working on myself, loving myself more, and loving my children more.”
